The importance of being inauthentic | Mark Bowden

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A lot of people, myself included, often talk about the importance of authenticity when it comes to communication.

But in this video Mark Bowden blows this notion out of the water with his incredible talk on body language and how to use it to manipulate how other people feel about you.

Mark is a body language and human behaviour expert and a very very good speaker.

In this fascinating and very funny talk, Mark explains how our brain works when we begin to communicate with people.

He starts by talking about how we use our brain to make snap judgements within nanoseconds based on people’s behaviours.

In our primitive brain, has four categories that it uses for everyone we interact with:

  1. Friend
  2. Enemy/predator
  3. Potential mate
  4. Indifferent

Mark goes on to explain that unless you already know someone , the default category that people we interact with is ‘indifferent’.

From a speaking and presenting point of view, if the audience decide in their brains that the speaker/presenter is ‘indifferent’ to them, then it won’t matter how powerful the message or idea is, they most likely wont pay attention.

“Behavioural psychology says that you’re just not going to pay attention to me unless I can get into the category – ‘friend’ with you.”

And this is when Mark begins to explain and describe the tiny little signals that he has been doing during his talk to get the audience to put him into their ‘friend’ category within their brains.

And his tips and techniques that he describes are not difficult for us all to learn from:

  • Smile

Mark explains that just creating a smile with your mouth isn’t good enough “the smile must build over 3 seconds and it must sustain for 3 seconds otherwise it’s insufficient data and your primitive brain gores ‘ah predator’”.

  • Eyebrow Flash

Mark then goes on to highlighting the importance of just raising your eyebrows when you first meet someone; “This is the universal signal for ‘I recognise you, i know you, you’re my friend…”

  • No tools, no weapons

As in the David JP Phillips video, Mark discusses the importance of open and closed body language.

He explains that when we feel threatened or unsafe, we close our body to protect ourselves. Whereas when we open up our arms, hands and our bodies, we are highlighting that we are unarmed and not dangerous.

Mark finishes his talk by explaining and demonstrating what his true ‘authentic self’ would look like if he was presenting on stage.

The contrast involves him raising his voice, pacing angrily and scowling as he is angry/defensive at the thought of being judged by the audience and uncomfortable.

And this is where the message hits home, Mark is asking the audience not to be indifferent to the people they meet.

He wants them to use the smile, eyebrow flash and open body language so that they can enter into the ‘friend’ category.

We can all learn from this talk and use these simple signals to ensure that the message and ideas that we are presenting or speaking about are not lost on the audience.

If you want to see more TED Talks on public speaking then take a look at my Top 5 TED Talks to improve public speaking.

The secret structure to great talks | Nancy Duarte

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In this fascinating talk Nancy Durate breaks down some of the most iconic speeches in history to show a pattern, shape and structure that we can apply to our own speeches and presentations.

Nancy is hugely passionate about presentations and the value that they can have.

The world has been and still can be changed through powerful and meaningful presentations.

And just like Chris Anderson’s talk, all presentations and talks h ave to start with an idea.

“The idea has got to be spread, or it won’t be effective. So it has to come out of you and out into the open for people to see. And the way that ideas are conveyed the most effectively is through story.”

A story with the correct structure can be easily consumed and remembered by the listener.

The big question that Nancy asked was; how do you incorporate stories into presentations?

She then goes on to break down structures of stores:

  • A beginning, middle and end
  • A likeable hero
  • A desire
  • A roadblock
  • Overcoming to emerge transformed

What I like is that Nancy highlights that in a presentation or speech, the speaker is not the hero in the story.

If we truly want the audience to engage and have the emotional response we want them to have, the audience have to be the hero, the speaker has to be the mentor.

To present our ideas with the biggest impact, we need the audience to believe that they are the heroes in our story, we create a desire from them through our idea.

Then we bring in the roadblock through creating curiosity, making the audience want to know how they can overcome the roadblock.

And that’s when our idea gives them the transformation in how they think, behave or act.

But to have this impact, Nancy has created a shape which we can all fit our presentations and speeches into so that we can have the desired impact when we tell our stories and share our ideas.

The shape identifies that there are 2 main features

  1. What is
  2. What could be

To break this down further, Nancy explains; “At the beginning of any presentation, you need to establish what is… And then you need to compare that to what could be.”

She goes on to explain that there needs to be a back and forth between the ‘what is’ and the ‘what could be’ to highlight the idea even greater.

Using another tip from Chris Anderson, Nancy goes on to use a sailing metaphor to highlight how her structure works when encountering resistance to your idea.

By working with the resistance in the ‘what is’ and ‘what could be’, just like a sailing boat using the wind to generate more power, the structure helps the presenter pull people towards their idea.

And finally, after the back and forth of using stories, analogies, metaphors to highlight to the audience the ‘what is’ and then the ‘what could be’, the speech or presentation ends with the call to action which should leave the audience transformed.

Nancy goes on to show how she uses this shape as an analysis tool for famous speeches like Steve Jobs and the iPhone launch and the iconic Dr Martin Luther King ‘I Have a Dream’ speech.

I’ve used this talk so many times to work on my own public speaking skills which is why I’ve put it on my Top 5 TED Talks to improve public speaking.

 

How to speak so that people people want to listen | Julian Treasure

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This is one of my all time favourite TED Talks.

Julian is a sound and communication expert, author and international key note speaker.

“What would the world be like if we were speaking powerfully to people who were listening consciously in environments which were actually fit for purpose?”

His talk has amassed nearly 40 million views on YouTube and explains to the viewer his ‘Seven Deadly Sins’ of speaking, his four cornerstones to make our speech more powerful, the toolbox we can use to say our speech better, and his speaking warm up exercises.

Julian Treasure’s Seven Deadly Sins of Speaking

  1. Gossip – “Speaking ill of somebody who’s not present”
  2. Judging – “It’s very hard to listen to somebody if you know that you’re being judged”
  3. Negativity – “It’s hard to listen to somebody when they’re that negative”
  4. Complaining – “complaining is viral misery, It’s not spreading sunshine and lightness on the world”
  5. Excuses – “They pass it [blame] on to everybody else and don’t take responsibility for their actions”
  6. Embroidery, exaggeration – “exaggeration becomes lying, and we don’t want to listen to people who are lying to us”
  7. Dogmatism – “Confusion of facts with opinion.”

Julian Treasure’s Four Cornerstones – HAIL

Julian talks about his four “really powerful cornerstones, foundations that we can stand on if we want our speech to be powerful and to make change in the world.”

Honesty – Be clear and straight

Authenticity – Be yourself

Integrity – Be your word

Love – Wish them well

Julian Treasure’s Toolbox

According to Julian, we all have a toolbox which contain really powerful tools we can use that will make our speeches much more powerful.

Putting all of these tools together can ensure that when we have something to say, we know that it will have the power and affect that we wanted it to have.

Register

  • “We vote for politicians with lower voices because we associate depth with power and with authority”

Timbre

  • “We prefer voices which are rich, smooth, warm, like hot chocolate”

Prosody

  • “It’s the root one for meaning in conversation.”

Pace

  • “I can get very excited by saying something really quickly, or I can slow right down to emphasise, and at the end of that, of course, is our old friend silence.”

Pitch

  • “pitch often goes along with pace to indicate arousal, but you can do it just with pitch.”

Volume

  • “Some people broadcast the whole time. Try not to do that. That’s called ‘’sodcasting’.”

There are some really valuable public speaking skills that I have taken from this video as well as the the other TED Talks I use to enhance my public speaking and presentation skills.

TED’s secret to great public speaking | Chris Anderson

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Chris Anderson is the head and curator of TED.

So if there’s one person who knows the secret to a great speech it’s him.

In this video, he explains in that there is no such thing as a ‘TED Talk formula’.

But from all of the talks that Chris has listened to and watched, he does point out that there is one thing that they all have in common: A speaker transferring an idea across to an audience.

“Your number one task as a speaker is to transfer into your listeners’ minds an extraordinary gift, a strange and beautiful object that we call an idea.”

He describes an idea as being:

“A pattern of information that helps you understand and navigate the world.”

Ideas can help change how people think about the world and can impact on the actions that the audience take.

Chris then goes on to give his four guidelines on how to build an idea inside the mind of your audience:

1. “Limit your talk to one major idea”
  • Don’t overload the audience with loads of different ideas, focus on the single idea that you are most passionate about.
  • Share examples and paint the picture for the audience to give them context to your idea.  

2. “Give your listeners a reason to care”

  • It’s all about creating curiosity.
  • Identify why something doesn’t make sense by asking the audience questions to get them thinking.
  • Creating a knowledge gap, the audience will need that gap to be bridged through your idea.

3. “Build your idea”

  • Use concepts that the audience already understands.
  • Language is a huge tool when helping people understand your idea, but don’t use complicated and technical language, what language will your audience understand?
  • Using metaphors and analogies help people understand complex ideas and can be a great tool to get your idea across.

4. “Make your idea worth sharing”

  • When crafting your speech, ask yourself who the idea benefits.
  • TED don’t want this to benefit the speaker or a related business or organisation, they want it to benefit the audience.
  • Will your idea brighten up someone’s day, change their perspective on a subject for the better, and/or inspire someone to do something differently?

In this short video, Chris Anderson is able to convey the importance of creating an idea and how to share it with an audience in the most effective way.

I use his 4 guidelines regularly when I am working on creating a new speech.

Crafting Your Speech: A Step-by-Step Guide to Defining Your Message

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Is your message clear before you step in front of an audience?

Without clear boundaries and guidelines for a specific subject, discussions may lack depth on key points while simultaneously delving into excessive detail elsewhere.

When speaking at a Climate Change convention, rather than addressing Climate Change broadly, the speaker would likely focus on a specific aspect within the larger topic.

Having a clear focus will help the speaker create a powerful message that the audience will understand and remember.

Defining the message of the speech is an essential public speaking skill. 

When I do this, the process I like to follow is nice and simple: Topic – Intention – Plan – Message.

Step 1. Identify Your Topic

Think about subjects that you are most passionate about or have extensive knowledge in.

A useful technique I once discovered for this purpose is the “Three Rs Test”: List down subjects and topics for which you’re Recognised by others, have achieved positive Results, and actively invest time in Researching.

Example: Communication is far too broad a topic to talk about, so in the past I have chosen ‘Communication in Sport’ as a topic due to a personal and professional interest in sports dynamics.

Step 2. Understand Your Audience

Who is the audience and what are their interests, needs, or problems related to the topic?

Understanding your audience is crucial for making your speech relevant and impactful.

Example: The audience I spoke to consisted of individuals within the commercial environment with a keen interest in sport that were looking to enhance their communication skills.

Step 3. Find Trends and/or Themes

Think about any specific trends, themes or even personal observations that are relevant to the topic which will make the speech more engaging and relevant.

Example: I used examples of how coaches and players communicated from the rugby and football World Cups.

Step 4. Determine the General Purpose of the Speech

What is the main goal of the speech?

Do you want to inform, persuade, entertain or achieve a mix of them all?

Example: The purpose I wanted to achieve was to inform the audience with the facts that I had, but also entertain them with stories and anecdotes.

There was also a small element of persuasion as the part of the purpose was to help people learn new ways to communicate in a team environment.

Step 5. Identify the key Outcome

Define what you want your audience to learn, feel, or do as a result of your speech. This should be a specific outcome that your speech is designed to achieve.

Example: The specific outcome for my audience was to learn the key benefits of interpersonal communication in a team or group environment.

Step 6. Identify a Problem or Need

Identify a specific problem, need, or gap in understanding that your speech can address. This makes your speech more valuable and practical for your audience.

Example: It had been established before I spoke that there was a need within the organisation for improved communication in leadership roles within team and group environments.

Step 7. Establish the Key Message for the Audience

Summarise the key message or what you want the audience to take away from the speech.

The message should capture the most important part of the speech and be directly related to the outcome of the speech.

Example: My key message was to highlight the importance of tailoring communication to individual team members by leaders.

After completing this simple process, this is what I’m left with:

Topic:

Communication in Sport

Intention:

To inform and persuade, with an entertaining delivery.

Plan:

To educate the audience about the key benefits of interpersonal communication in a team environment, specifically focusing on how leaders can tailor their communication to different individuals within the team.

Message:

The importance of tailoring how leaders communicate to different individuals in a group or team environment is crucial for enhancing team dynamics and overall performance.

This process took me some time to become familiar with, but it’s now the first point of call that I go to when I need to craft a speech, presentation or workshop.

Preparing for speeches this way gives me full confidence in what I’m saying.

It helps me create a clear message and establish the specific topic I’m going to speak about and gives me the focus and boundaries to ensure I don’t overcomplicate my message.

Preparation is Respect: Always do your homework

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The cliche when it comes to the ‘P Word’ that I grew up with is: “Piss Poor Preparation, Promotes Piss Poor Performances”.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t until I’d long left school before I realised that homework and studying was all about preparation to pass my exams at school.

I didn’t pass my exams at school, probably because I didn’t enjoy doing my homework.

But that was because I hated school and most of the subjects that I had to sit through.

However, many years after leaving school, I found myself hosting an event as one of my first gigs as a host for a black-tie members dinner.

It was my job to do a short welcome speech and then personally announce and welcome the non-member guests and the main speaker for the evening.

I thought this would be a piece of cake.

The day before the event, I reached out to the organiser via email, requesting a list of the attending members, non-member guests, and the keynote speaker who is the highlight of the event.

When he replied, he left a line in the email that gave me a bit of a jolt: “I did wonder when you’d be getting in touch, leaving it rather late…?”.

I shrugged it off and looked at the list, there were 75 members and 15 non-member guests and the guest speaker. This would be easy.

On the night, a few of the members who had brought guests along mentioned that I hadn’t been in touch to find out about who their guests were.

I reassured them that I had a list of all the non-member guests and would be mentioning them in my welcome speech.

When the evening started, I was introduced by the club president, and I stood up with my paper in hand.

I smiled and started my welcome speech which I had decided to just do off the cuff.

I thought it would be easy enough.

Within about 30 seconds, I heard myself “it’s great to see so many people here at this great event, I’m sure we’re all going to have a great evening and the food and entertainment will be great…”

In my head a voice said, “stop saying ‘great’ for fuck’s sake!!”

I began to panic, my face was going red, the people in the room were looking a bit confused.

What was I actually saying?

So, I cut my rambling short – “Anyway, let’s introduce some of our guests….”

I looked down at the paper and just began to read the names in the order that I had printed them off.

This whole thing was beginning to sound like a teacher reading out a class register.

The room was deadly silent and when I started to look around, I could see there weren’t many smiles and most of the members I knew were unable to look up at me.

When I’d listed the guests, I finished with “anyway, I hope we all have a great night and enjoy hearing from our special guest who will be entertaining us with a great speech after our dinner. Thank you”.

There was a very bleak round of applause, and I sat down, completely flustered and embarrassed.

But it was to get worse.

The person I was sitting next to, leaned over and said, “did you forget my name?”.

I was sitting beside the man who was being paid by the members club to deliver a speech about his life and successful career, he was the ‘headline act’ and a very well-known and established speaker.

I had completely forgotten to welcome him and even say his name in my speech.

It was a disaster.

Even thinking about it now has me cringing.

Sensing my embarrassment, the guest speaker put a very kind and sympathetic hand on my shoulder and said, “don’t worry about it, these things happen”.

It didn’t make me feel any better, but I appreciate the gesture now looking back.

That night was a very harsh lesson for me.

No matter how many times a teacher had shouted at me, or I’d found myself in an exam hall not having a clue how to answer the question on the paper, that night I realised the importance of doing my homework.

When it comes to public speaking and hosting, failing to prepare and not putting the effort in is the ultimate sign of disrespect and a slap in the face for the audience.

The next year it was suggested that I get a second chance at hosting the same event to redeem myself to the members of the club.

Three weeks before the event, I asked the organisers for a full list of guests and who the guest speaker would be.

I contacted the members who were inviting non-member guests to ask for any significant details about who they were bringing.

I reached out to the guest speaker to ask about the subject, topics and themes of his speech and studied their bio.

I spent hours over the days and weeks in advance of the dinner finding out stories or details from the club members from the last 12 months since the previous dinner.

I practiced my lines over and over again.

All of this for just 7 minutes of speaking.

And when I stood up to welcome everyone to the event, it felt amazing to see the delight in the audiences faces and how much they appreciated the details that I was able to add about them and their guests.

They respected and recognised the work that I had put in for them.

Preparation is respect for the people you are speaking to, and a key public speaking skill.

If it’s a keynote speech or a one-to-one feedback session, if you’ve taken the time to prepare and make the effort, then the recipients of what you are saying will recognise and appreciate it.

Tailoring what you say to the audience builds connections and engages everyone in the room.

Engagement and connection builds trust between the audience and the speaker.

Trust builds influence.

In my interview with Music Journalist Billy Sloan who has interviewed some of the biggest names in the world through an incredible forty-year career, his key message was simple:

Be professional, be prepared and always do your homework.

When I was at school, I didn’t care about passing tests or exams, but I care about speaking.

This was a valuable and sore lesson for me, and one that I remind myself about whenever I need to do my homework.

Crafting Clarity and Connection: The Art of Using Analogies in Public Speaking

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When George Lucas pitched the idea of his original plan for ‘The Adventures of Indiana Smith’ to Stephen Spielberg, he described the storyline to ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’.

Spielberg loved the idea and described the movie concept as:

“James Bond without the hardware”.

They would go on to change the name from Indiana Smith to Indiana Jones and the rest is history.

Spielberg used the analogy of “James Bond without the hardware” to describe the concept of the movie in the most simplest terms.

In just 5 words, he was able to paint a picture of the complete concept of the character, movie themes and what the film will be about.

Analogies can be hugely powerful when we communicate and are a great public speaking skill. 

Here are my 7 key reasons why using analogies can help with public speaking.

1. Analogies break down complex ideas

When delivering a speech or presentation, there needs to be a clear and obvious message for the audience.

But if that message is complex to explain, there’s a danger that the speaker uses jargon and technical language.

This can disengage an audience very quickly and often the message or idea can be completely lost on everyone.

An analogy can simplify the idea and make the message much clearer.

2. Analogies engages with the audience

Analogies only work if they’re relatable to the audience.

Tailoring the content is hugely important to creating engagement with an audience.

If the audience can’t relate to what is being said then they wont be engaged.

Sporting analogies are very popular but make sure they’re appropriate to the audience, or a home run might turn into an own goal… (see what I did there?).

3. Analogies improve retention of wha’t being said

A well delivered and descriptive analogy will be remembered.

people are much more likely to remember information that’s connected to something that they’re familiar with.

When Spielberg described his concept of Indiana Jones in the 1970’s, everyone knew who James Bond was.

 4. Analogies help build a rapport with the audience

Rapport with an audience is finding a connection to create a positive relationship.

By using analogies that resonates with the audience’s background and experiences the audience will feel a stronger connection.

Tailoring speeches and presentations is essential when it comes to building rapport with an audience, and analogies that resonate instantly build connections between the audience and the speaker.

5. Analogies enhance persuasiveness and influence

If you need to be persuasive, an analogy can make a particular point easier to accept for the audience, especially if the analogy aligns with the audiences beliefs, values and experiences.

When communicating for change, using analogies that highlight the positives of moving forward and the negatives of going backwards can have a big impact.

6. Analogies clarify abstract concepts

If you’re concept is ‘as clear as mud’ in the mind of the audience, it would suggest that they don’t have much understanding on the concept that’s being communicated.

However, if you use analogies which helps the audience ‘unravel a complex knot’ then you’re making difficult to understand topics much clearer for the audience to get their heads round.

7. Analogies encourage creative thinking

Using analogies stimulates the imagination of the audience.

When the audience begin to think in pictures and images, it encourages them to think more creatively about the subject matter.

Creativity stimulates thinking which can create new ideas and motivates people to try new things or think differently.

Using analogies is a powerful tool when speaking publicly or delivering a presentation.

Tailoring content to the audience and using analogies that are relatable and easy to understand can help create engagement, simplify the message and connect with the audience.

Public Speaking: How to create influence through engagement

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In public speaking, engagement is the level of attention, interest and interaction you gain from the audience.

It determines how interested the audience are in your message and how deeply they are thinking about what you are saying.

The stronger the engagement with an audience you have, the higher level of influence you will have.

And the more influence you have, the more likely people will reposed to your message the way that you want them to.

Having influence when you are speaking means that you can have an effect on the audiences beliefs, behaviours, attitudes and/or actions.

Influence and engagement are valuable public speaking skills to have if you have a strong message you want to deliver, are speaking to create action or if you are trying to motivate people.

However; you won’t get influence without engagement.

Add some humour.

In my conversation with comedian Stuart Mitchell, he detailed his approach to integrating humour into the speeches and presentations of CEOs and organisational leaders.

He believes that humour serves as the most effective method to establish rapport and captivate an audience

“You need to be engaging, need to address the room, you need an opening line to bring these people on board”

He goes on to state that there is a fine line between bring a joker and adding a few light hearted lines into a speech or presentation to lighten it up a bit.

Using humour creates an emotional response.

When people laugh, they want to laugh more, and if you’ve made them laugh at the very beginning then they’ll be much more engaged throughout the rest of the speech or presentation.

Stuart believes that displaying small elements of self-deprecation or addressing something everyone else is thinking about builds a connection with the audience.

The audience will feel a connection if the speaker lets them in by laughing at themselves a bit or if the speaker has the same thoughts as they have on a particular subject.

When there’s connection, there’s trust.

Where is the relevance?

How relevant is the message you are speaking about to your audience?

If people can’t relate your speech to themselves or their environment, then they’ll switch off.

Being aware of the audience and tailoring your speech and message to them so that it is relevant will generate more engagement.

You can create engagement by using specific language and references that the audience are familiar with.

Referencing recent changes the audience will be familiar with.

Acknowledging the perspectives and feelings that some individuals hold about a particular topic or event demonstrates your awareness and comprehension of the audience’s feelings.

Mind your language

Language plays a huge role in creating engagement.

Too much jargon, abbreviations and technical language can isolate people.

If they don’t understand what you are talking about, they’re going to switch off.

However, don’t patronise your audience either, there’s a fine line between using too much technical talk and then over simplifying it and insulting people’s intelligence.

Understand the power of pronouns.

If I say “we” when talking to an audience, I am making myself part of the group I am speaking to.

If I refer to the audience as “you” then I am separating myself from them.

During my conversation with Dr. Kieran File, a professor specialising in Acquired Linguistics at Warwick University, he emphasised the significance of the pronouns used by sports coaches and managers in their media interviews.

Employing terms such as “you” engages your audience more personally, giving the impression of a direct conversation.

In instances where there may be some resistance from the audience, fostering a sense of unity and inclusivity can be achieved by using collective pronouns like “us” and “we,” thereby enhancing the feeling of solidarity among everyone present.

Ask questions?

Naturally, if people know there’s a chance that they’re going to be asked questions then they’ll be more likely to stay engaged.

So it’s a good idea to set the tone early to make people aware that there is a chance they’ll be asked questions throughout.

There’s nothing worse than asking someone a question and then realising that they’ve completely zoned out and don’t know how to answer.

Not every question has to be directed towards a particular person, and not every question needs an answer.

Letting a question hang in the air to get the audience to ponder and think about something can be enough.

Using questions to get the audience nodding along in agreement shaking their heads in disagreement collectively is another way to create engagement through questions.

Here’s an example of an open question that most people being asked can relate to: “Don’t you just hate when you step into a puddle and feel the water seeping through your socks?”

Create uncertainty.

For most people wanting to build influence, it might seem counterintuitive to deliberately create uncertainty within the audience.

But creating uncertainty can trigger curiosity.

If the audience become curious, they’ll want to find out more.

They’ll lean forward, narrow their eyes, maybe tilt their head to the side and frown slightly.

These are classic signs that someone is engaged in what you’re saying but uncertain, but curious to find out the answer or where this speech is going.

By creating uncertainty in your speech or presentation, you create an interest from the audience to find out more information.

Just make sure that you create uncertainty and then deliver the answers during your speech, you don’t want your audience leaving feeling more uncertain and asking more questions.

Without engagement, your message will be lost on the audience and you won’t have much or any influence on them.

If you want an audience to take action, follow what you say and motivate them to change their minds, attitudes or behaviours you need to be engaged with them.

Create curiosity, ask questions, mind your language and don’t be scared to add a bit of humour.