Feedback: Put the sh*t sandwich in the bin 🚮

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Having worked in the training, learning and development industry for nearly 10 years, I have been in plenty of positions where I need to tell someone something that I don’t think they’re going to want to hear. It can be uncomfortable, it can feel awkward and sometimes, you don’t know how the person will react.

The old school tried and tested way of doing this is commonly known as ‘the shit sandwich’. This is when you tell the person something good, give them the ‘negative feedback’ bit and then finish off by telling them something good again.

While there are numerous ways to offer feedback, the conventional “good-bad-good” approach is not necessarily ineffective. However, I have concerns that this method may be too simplistic and can lead to feedback losing its significance and intended impact. It is crucial to avoid the temptation of relying solely on this approach and ensure that feedback is always thoughtful and purposeful.

Feedback is fuel

It is widely recognised that feedback is crucial in all areas of performance, be it professional or personal. Whether it applies to work, sports, or any task, feedback is instrumental in identifying areas of improvement and enhancing overall performance.

However, providing feedback can be a daunting task. This is why we tend to delay it and reserve it for specific occasions, such as annual or quarterly appraisals and performance reviews. Unfortunately, both the giver and the recipient of feedback often dread these meetings. The giver may struggle with how to deliver the feedback constructively, while the recipient may feel anxious about the impending conversation and may already be planning their response.

Feedback should be continuous. In my recent post about the transformation of culture at Toulouse FC, the staff within the organisation requested more feedback to create an environment where they were allowed to fail. They didn’t want to hear feedback when it was too late to act upon it. In their book ‘Trillion Dollar Coach – The leadership playbook of Silicon Valley’s Bill Campbell’ Eric Schmidt, Jonathan Rosenberg and Alan Eagle discuss the legendary Bill Campbell’s approach to giving feedback;

“An important component of providing candid feedback is not to wait ‘A coach coaches in the moment,’ Scott Cook says. ‘It’s more real and more authentic, but so many leaders shy away from that.’ Many managers wait until performance reviews to provide feedback, which is often too little, too late. Bill’s feedback was in the moment (or very close to it), task specific and always followed by a grin and a hug, all of which helped remove the sting.” 

It’s important to note the last bit about removing the ‘sting’ of feedback. People will respond to feedback in different ways, and it can be painful to receive. Especially if the feedback has been candid and to the point.

Feedback vs Criticism

One thing that bothers me is when people mask criticism as “constructive” feedback. While the intention behind such criticism may be well-meaning, it may not necessarily be constructive for the person on the receiving end. At the end of the day, criticism is still criticism. In his book “Coaching for Performance,” Sir John Whitmore highlights that excessive criticism can lead to damaged relationships. Criticism is a negative way of communicating and hinders the learning process.

When we are too quick to criticise, we inadvertently create a culture of blame, fear, and judgment. People feel threatened when subjected to criticism, which can lead to conflicts. In a blame culture, individuals may hesitate to use their own initiative to improve, while judgment can stifle creativity. Labeling criticism as “constructive” does not change the underlying negative connotation associated with it. Whether criticism is constructive or not, it can still evoke a defensive reaction in individuals.

In the book “Trillion Dollar Coach,” a key takeaway was Bill Campbell’s ability to provide direct and honest feedback to his teams and individuals. This was made possible because he had fostered a safe and comfortable environment for feedback. Campbell took the time to build personal relationships with the people he coached and worked with. This allowed him to know what he could say and how individuals would respond to his feedback. Under his leadership, teams developed a culture of openness and continuous feedback. They were able to provide feedback to one another and critically analyse their own performances.

Psychological Safety

Prior to delivering feedback, it is important to ensure that the environment is conducive to receiving it. This could mean providing feedback privately or in front of peers, depending on the situation. Being aware of the individual or group dynamics is crucial in determining how feedback should be given and how it might be received.

Establishing a culture where feedback is a regular part of team interactions, rather than just in response to mistakes or performance reviews, can have a significant impact on individual and group performance. By fostering a psychologically safe environment, team members feel comfortable sharing ideas, admitting mistakes, and taking risks. This is essential for learning and development, as it allows individuals to give and receive feedback without fear of criticism. Such an environment encourages open and honest feedback on individual performance, leading to continuous improvement.

High performing teams are full of continual feedback, peer to peer feedback and openness on their own feedback. One of the key tools that I am now using is the ‘PPCo feedback and evaluation tool’.

  • Pluses 
  • Potential 
  • Concerns
  • Overcome concerns 

This technique originates back to the early 1980’s and is credited to Diane Foucar-Szocki, Bill Shephard and Roger Firestein. 

A feedback technique that can leave individuals feeling motivated and clear on what they need to do is to identify the positives, explore potential areas for growth, collaborate on concerns, and focus on ways to overcome those concerns. It is recommended that individuals use this technique when evaluating their own performance as well.

In time and with the right environment, individuals can lead their own feedback process using this technique. They can start by identifying the positives and potential, and then assessing their concerns about their performance. This encourages self-reflection and critical thinking, as they may uncover concerns that the feedback giver did not notice. Collaborating on ways to overcome concerns can also be a beneficial process. While the feedback giver can provide direct instructions based on their experience and knowledge, it’s essential to prioritise input from both parties. By allowing the performer to establish their own solutions, they can take ownership of the feedback and feel more motivated to improve.

To ensure effective feedback is received and acted upon, the environment in which it is given must be taken into consideration. Cultivating a safe and supportive culture where individuals are encouraged to express mistakes, take risks, and be creative leads to higher performance. Continuous open and honest feedback is essential in such an environment. Criticism, on the other hand, can hinder learning and development, making it crucial to prioritise building a feedback-normalised environment instead of resorting to techniques like the “shit sandwich.”

Podcast Review: The Training Ground Guru | Damien Comolli: From Tou-lose to Tou-win

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In 2020, Toulouse were bought over by RedBird Capital while they were languishing in the second tier of the French Football leagues. They brought in Damien Comolli and appointed him Chairman and Sporting Director.

Damien’s previous roles included Director of Football at Tottenham, Liverpool, Fenerbache and St Etienne.

In this interview, the host of The Training Ground Guru – Simon Austin dives into the challenges Damien faced coming into a football club and what he had to do to turn the club around. They discuss the importance and massive use of data, how Toulouse have changed the traditional structure of a football club and the huge work that Damien and his team did surrounding culture and identity.

The big takeaway for me and the reason I wanted to write about this podcast episode was the discussion on culture and strategy. This was put at the top of the priority list by Damien in order to create the best environment for success at Toulouse FC.

What is the culture, identity and DNA?

Damien spent weeks meeting and speaking to as many people as he could to find out exactly what the culture and DNA of Toulouse FC was. Meetings with current and former players, staff, volunteers, fan groups and local politicians. He wanted to know about the relationship between the club and the city. He even went to lengths to find out the sociology of the supporter and the people who lived in the surrounding areas to get as clear a picture as possible what the club meant to the people of Toulouse.

 

 

It became clear that the club was completely isolated in the city and the relationship was disjointed. Largely due to a lack of communication and engagement.

The first step Toulouse FC took was to reach out to supporters groups and even non-supporters within the city. They discovered that Toulouse has a large population of students, so they met with the largest student unions and asked one straightforward question: “What do you want us to do for you to come to the stadium?”

Tou-lose to Tou-win

He began his mission by reaching out to people who worked, had worked, or volunteered with the club. By asking this one question; “What does this football club mean to you?”. The answer was a play on words – ‘Tou-lose.’

This simple insight became the catalyst for the club’s rebranding efforts. Damien knew that to make the club more appealing to fans and the wider community, he had to tap into what Toulouse meant to them. By asking a simple question and listening to the answers, Damien was able to uncover a unique insight that became the foundation for the club’s new identity. The next challenge was to change ‘Tou-lose’ to ‘Tou-win’.

What stood out about Damien’s approach was that he recognised that he couldn’t simply implement the culture he or RedBird Capital wanted at the club. He knew that to create a winning culture, the staff had to be empowered to drive change. The key to success, he realised, was to create working groups that each had their own topics to work on.

The message was clear: “We are here, how do you think we get to where we all want to be?” By allowing the staff to take ownership of the changes they wanted to see, Damien and his team were able to create a culture that was both sustainable and successful.

They needed to create an environment where everyone felt safe to take risks and try new things. To achieve this, they reached out to their staff to ask what they wanted in terms of feedback and performance management.

The club recognised that in order to achieve success, they needed to put culture and identity at the forefront of everything they did. This meant selecting managers and coaches based on how they would fit with the club’s playing style and culture, and screening players before signing to ensure they were a good fit for the team.

In addition, the club provided full inductions on the culture of the club to all new players, ensuring that everyone was on the same page from day one. This allowed the team to work together more cohesively, with everyone fully committed to the club’s values and goals.

But it wasn’t just the playing staff that were expected to embrace the culture of the club. Non-playing staff and volunteers were also expected to work within the culture that was set and owned by everyone. This created a sense of ownership and unity across the entire football club.

“It is the staff’s responsibility to safeguard the club’s culture and identity”

Culture breeds success

This new approach wasn’t an instant success, but it did pay off in the long run. After missing out on promotion in controversial circumstances in the 2020/21 season play-offs, Toulouse FC won League 2 in record-breaking style, scoring the most goals ever scored in the league, having the top passers and goalscorer in the league, and six players nominated in the Team of the Year. These impressive achievements were not just down to individual talent, but to the team’s commitment to their culture and identity.

Damien Comolli is quick to point out that this is still very much a ‘work in progress’ project when it comes to the culture at Toulouse. And he spends a lot of time in this interview discussing the importance of data and how they have transformed their use of data in all aspects of the football club. He talks about his time as Director of Football in the UK and how the culture in the UK at the time wasn’t ready for this role. He is also very open about times where he hasn’t had success and been through harder times and what he did to get back on track.

I found this interview fascinating. So many groups and organisations can learn from the Toulouse FC model of making culture and identity one of the top  strategic goals for success. By engaging and communicating with the local fan groups and communities within the city, Toulouse have created a synced purpose and identity for the club and the fans. Internally, the culture was set and is owned by the staff. They have created a space that allows them to be adventurous and not be scared to fail. Players at all levels and ages buy-in to the clubs ethos, DNA and culture and success is clear to see.

After this interview with The Training Ground Guru, I will be keeping a much closer eye on Toulouse FC from now on.

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Coaching or Mentoring – What’s the difference 🤷‍♂️ ?

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I’ve been working through the ILM Level 7 Executive Coaching Qualification.

One of the tasks involved in gaining the qualification is to complete a written project answering a series of questions using personal experiences and knowledge of coaching at an executive level.

The first question is: Critically compare the strategic purposes of coaching and mentoring at an executive or senior level.

A lot of people make the same mistake by thinking that coaching and mentoring are the same thing. They are not. It’s common for people to confuse executive coaching styles and techniques with those of sports and/or fitness coaching. A sports coach will give instruction to a performer; a tennis coach will often tell a player to do a certain movement or how to react to a specific situation.

Executive coaching is about building relationships, communication and discovery rather than being taught or told. Sir John Whitmore describes coaching in his book Coaching for Performance as “Unlocking people’s potential to maximise their own performance”. And believes that coaching is less about instruction and more about guided discovery.

Mentoring on the other hand is when someone advises, guides and/or teaches someone. This is done through the mentor passing on advice through their own experiences and knowledge to a protege or the ‘mentee’.

It’s easy to think that in order to be a successful executive coach, the person coaching should have the relevant experience and knowledge of the job and tasks involved. This is actually not necessarily true; if an executive coach has knowledge and experience in the area that they are coaching in, then there is the danger of the coach imparting their knowledge and telling the person/people they are coaching what to do. This could potentially block the discovery process and move into the teacher/trainer/mentor role. Whitmore backs this theory up; “..mentoring is very different to coaching, because coaching is not dependent on a more experienced person passing down their knowledge – in fact, this undermines the building of self-belief which creates sustained performance..”

Coaching is more about facilitating the process for the individual or the group. The famous former American Football coach who became known as The Trillion Dollar Coach and worked with Apple and Google Execs would often say “Coach the team, not the problem”. Even if he had the answers for what he thought was the best way to solve the problem, he would rather use coaching techniques with his team of execs to guide them to the solution.

This doesn’t mean there is no requirement for mentoring. Far from it. If there is someone in any organisation with a wealth of experience and knowledge, then they should be used in a way to pass it on to people who might be in need of it. A mentor is hugely valuable in leadership roles. This is vital in the learning and development process for any organisation. It can’t be expected that a less experienced executive is left alone to gain experience and understanding with no guidance from someone who can help by imparting their own knowledge.

So is there a place for coaching and mentoring in the workplace?

Carol Wilson explains it perfectly in her book Performance Coaching; “An effective leader is able to move smoothly between directive and non-directive management, serving his or her subordinates sometimes as a coach and sometimes as a mentor, and where necessary giving orders.”

A leader needs to be able to switch between coach and mentor continuously. Understanding when a learning moment requires the non-directive guidance to allow the individual or team the space to discover the answers on their own. And when their own knowledge and experience will be valuable to pass down. A good leader develops people to their best potential and doesn’t hold people back. Once a mentor has passed on all of their wisdom, they can become an anchor and end up holding individuals and teams back. When a leader uses a mixture of coaching and mentoring, they give the individuals and groups the chance to gain even more knowledge which grows the individual or groups potential.

“Good coaching and leading, and good mentoring for that matter, can and should take the coachee beyond the limitations of the coach, leader, or mentor’s own knowledge.” – Sir John Whitmore Coaching for Performance

The main differences are that coaching is all about non-directive communication and guided discovery. Getting the ‘coachee’ to solve their own problems through creating self-belief and not depending on being given the answers. It can be personal and doesn’t necessarily require an expert in the subject area to be a coach. In fact, the opposite could be better.

Mentoring is someone with more knowledge and experience passing on their wisdom and directing the ‘mentee’ on what they think they should do to improve their performance. This is very helpful for learning development and can be tailored for the individual by using a mentor with the specific expertise. However, this can cause a dependency from the individual to the mentor. And once the mentor has passed on all of their knowledge and wisdom, this could hold the mentee back.

Learning to use non-directive coaching techniques can help individuals, teams and organisations grow. The more coaching skills that a leader can gain and use, the better chance they have of creating a successful environment where everyone can maximise their performance.